Sadness…and a little story, all in one post
Posted on June 6, 2006 - Filed Under Adult swim
Many folks wondered why I really did not want to have children. Well, if you want one of the answers to this question, listen to this (click on the word ‘Listen’ under the bold title). Even if you don’t want to know the answer but you have children, grandchildren, some kid you really care about, hate to see our culture dragged down for no good reason, etc., you REALLY NEED to listen to this. It’s powerful stuff; it might make you cry but it definately should make you think.
By the way, if you’re wondering how I moved from not wanting children to now having one, it is pretty much summed up by this, from Leo Tolstoy’s Family Happiness:
I wanted movement and not a calm course of existence. I wanted excitement and danger and the chance to sacrifice myself for my love.
I very serendipitously found this quote one day in a copy of this book at Malaprops. I can still remember: I grabbed the book off the shelf because it looked interesting, sat down in a kid-sized chair, and began casually reading. And as I read these words in particular, I realized they applied to me at that moment with regard to a major decision I was being faced with. Perhaps no other confluence of words has influenced my life so impactfully. It is because I read these words at that time in my life that I now have a wonderful baby girl. And if something really awful happens to Maggie, like what happened to the son in the story above, well, that’s part of the deal; that’s what I signed up for as a parent. My hope is I will always be able to maintain that perspective, to have that strength, knowing there truly is nothing that shields us from suffering.
And I would just like to point out to any work chums who might read this that for all the ribbing you gave me for going to Malaprops all the time, this is how it turned out 
–pretty darn good.
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3 Responses to “Sadness…and a little story, all in one post”
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Jason,
Touching story…. it’s kind of a big fear of mine. Sometimes I go nuts changing diapers 10 times a day or getting up in the middle of the night b/c Cameron sees a velociraptor outside his window. I’ll say to myself, “Man, I can’t wait for these kids to grow up a little bit.” But in reality, I wish they’d stay this young forever. Less to worry about I guess. I think that man (and his wife) were too passive. When they started finding the beer cans and smelling the pot, they should have gotten more involved and not blown it off. I sound like a bit of a hypocrite b/c I was young and dumb once and tried different things… but in hindsight, it’s easy to see they are “gateway drugs”. All right man… great web site… I’m suppose to be packing now. Talk to you later.
jason i just read your site i can see the love and the gleam in your eyes when you and maggie are togethere i know we live in a crazy world but i know that you and erin will try to teach her the right way to go i wish that i would have a better mother to you and your sister i will try to be a good grandma and pray for your family as long as am allowed to be here on this earth you two will be great parents dont give up there will be hard times let your love for each other help you get through them love mom
In case there’s anyone out there who’s a little unclear on exactly what a velociraptor was, click here. Now we all can have nightmares…thanks Jake!!