I began teaching my last class Thursday ahead of our move to Texas in July. It is an amazing feeling to be this close to finishing a job that began as a dream come true, showed itself to be fulfilling and very demanding, and taught me a lot (both good and bad) about people, including myself. I remember thinking at the end of my first year, “I am 25% of the way done with this.” At that point, I had gotten past the ‘what the hell did I get myself into?’ feeling and had begun settling into my role as an instructor within my organization. Things were really crazy at that time due to low manning—I mean really crazy. Somehow, I (and the family) made it through; I learned that you just do what you have to and try to manage any negative consequences as you go along. (Brian Adams sang, “Ain’t no use in complaining/You got a job to do.” For the record, I did not follow that advice; I did A LOT of complaining, some of which mattered but much of which was a waste.)
I don’t know that I will ever fully comprehend all of the benefit I gained by having taken this job. I suspect I will look back—2 or 20 years from now—and feel a little beaten up but stronger as a result, the way you do after a long, punishing run. That’s what it has been—a test of my will to work toward and achieve excellence, literally every day. I missed that mark on at least a majority of the days, but there are things I am extremely proud to have done and will hopefully take with me the rest of my natural life. But there have been things I have missed, namely time with the family, that I will never have the chance to experience because they are in the past.
If there is anyone who deserves credit for this job being a positive thing, it’s Erin. There is no way I could have managed without her support. Her tireless patience and devotion to me and the kids are absolutely the reasons we will come out of this stronger as a family than we were almost four years ago. It’s just words and doesn’t begin to carry nearly enough water, but thank you Erin.
