*“Rolling in the muck isn’t going to get you cleanâ€
Posted on March 22, 2007 - Filed Under Whine with my cheese, Adult swim
*Jake’s brother, after having made a fantastic boo-boo.
My job really sucks sometimes. Actually, it isn’t the job: I love the students most of the time, the work itself takes me out my comfort zone and is very challenging, and I have a finished product every six weeks. The problems pretty much center around my inability to deal with two of the other staff members, my boss and a fellow instructor. I won’t go into detail about either of them because that would require I write a bunch of stuff you all really aren’t interested in reading. Suffice it to say that, most days, any emotional exhaustion I feel comes from how I respond to these two individuals. (Let me take one moment to explain something. I am explaining this situation as ‘my problem’ because I have come to believe that the problems we have with people aren’t rooted in them; they’re rooted in our lack of understanding and compassion for the people we feel at conflict with. No one ‘makes’ you feel something; you feelings, reactions, thoughts, attitudes, etc., etc. are your own.) The instructors, myself included, spend a good deal of time every week complaining amongst ourselves about our boss. It’s a very negative vibe, commonly known as a ‘bitch session.’ The thing about it is, before I got here, the problems were addressed at both the lowest and highest levels possible and nothing changed, except that she became even worse of a person and leader. So obviously, us sitting around beating it to death doesn’t change anything and just gets each of us fired up and reliving whatever particular situation is the topic of conversation.
Now, I’ve never been someone people would classify as positive. I have often been told I am very serious. The bottom line is, I try to be realistic. If the situation is positive, I will recognize it as such and try to enjoy it; if it is negative, I am not going to sit there and pretend to be happy. Well, I’ve tried that route in my current situation and the only thing it’s gotten me is very upset, tired, and just beat up internally. Then, about a week or so ago, Jake’s brother (see the link above to understand what I am talking about here) said something to Jake which shook my foundation a bit and got me to really thinking. My conclusion: To the best of my ability, I am going to begin implementing a slightly tweeked way of looking at things. In Jake and his brother’s situation, there was no alternative but to keep going; sitting around complaining about it would have only meant getting home later, making an already negative situation more negative. Was it worth complaining about? Is my situation worth complaining about? Surely, the answer regarding both is yes. Next question: Is complaining going to get you back to the trailhead faster, or in my case, make my interactions with these two people any easier? The answer is clearly no. Take the path which will take you where you want to be and don’t be distracted by the very tempting fruit along the way. That fruit might give you something but it won’t be goal accomplishment.
Thank you, Jake’s brother (I don’t even know his name…I think it’s Mike). Sometimes, you don’t even know how something you do or say can impact someone you’ve never had any contact with. I’m just glad that their circumstance came along when it did and that my mental ears were open to the wisdom which came out of it.
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Jake’s brother is quite wise. I am going to try to remember those words of wisdom in my own life.
Fantastic quote!!!
That was a good read Jason. I’m somewhat flattered… not sure why though. Sorry to here about your current situation, but hopefully you will embrace that motto you just wrote about and look at things as positive as possible. Last weekend when we stopped our bitchin’ on the way back and just accepted what happened, our trip turned that much better. Anyways… I’m glad it happened.
I like what you wrote… “problems we have with people aren’t rooted in them; they’re rooted in our lack of understanding and compassion for the people we feel at conflict with”… I’ve been meaning to call you here lately. When I do, I’m actually curious to hear about that situation you’re having (if you want to share).
I got that hiking fever by the way. We finally went to Chimney Rock park today. It was okay… a little commercialized, but at lot better than being in my prison cell on 151 patton ave. Okay.. I’ll call you here soon.