BABIES SUCK!!!
Posted on August 21, 2006 - Filed Under Uncategorized
If you believe the vast majority of people out there, having a baby around is nothing but sweetness and light. I really don’t like it when people present things in this way because it’s another example of lack of balance. Rarely is anything completely positive or negative but we still tend to frame things as one or the other. I think this tendency betrays one of the weaknesses of the human mind: we strive to make things as simplistic as possible. We find coping with complexity very, very difficult. Well, allow me to offer some balance: there are a number of downsides to being a parent of an infant. But this lack of balance is not the only issue. I also think that focusing completely on the positive and ignoring the negative convinces young people (women in particular) that kids are easy and cute, that there is nothing challenging about having them. And then they have one of their own and find themselves unwilling to deal with it; are we partially to blame because we influenced their outlook on the subject?
So, on to what is driving this thought. I realized tonight, while doing the most quintessential of all domestic tasks–taking out the trash–that I feel intellectually deprived. I feel like I haven’t read anything in months. The little bit of reading, relative to what I would like to or think I should do, before Maggie has transformed into virtually nothing. I have books I started before she was born whose pages are now probably glued together, it’s been so long since I cracked the spine. Yes, Grandpa bought Maggie a book of great import which I would find stimulating; the trouble is, the Magpie doesn’t even sit still when doing her favorite thing, eating. I have tried to read to her–doesn’t work. I think this whole intellectual starvation thing is why I turn to the blog so often to write about things that have nothing to do with Maggie or even Erin and I. I need to use my brain and writing really helps me do that.
The best I or anyone can do is remind themselves of two things: 1. The stages children go through prior to the age of three or so are ones of intense parental involvement and investment. Giving of oneself fully during this time is critical to the future success of the child. (The only reason the contribuation drops off later is that they become more and more independent and needing to develop skills on their own.) 2. You make time for the things which are important to you. Your decisions reflect your values and motivations. One may read my whining and say, “Why don’t you read during your lunch break?”. This is a very good point; however, I try to use that time to exercise so that I am not taking time away from Erin and Maggie at the beginning or end of the day. The bottom line is, many things are important but there are those which are most important. Considering I have to stay in relatively good shape for my job, I use my lunch toward that end. Reading and such, while important, will have to wait.
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3 Responses to “BABIES SUCK!!!”
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more pictures,PLEASE
Stockie
Out of all people in the world it is funny that you write about reading in your free time for mental stimulation. I am sure a majority of the population would be complaining about there free time to spend with their wife on vacation or drinking beer at the local pub. However considering that you are of the upper echelon of intelligent people in the world I can see where you are coming from.
Congrats to you and Erin for bringing a new little person in the world and taking true consideration and love for raising her. There is such a big lack of this in the world it is good to see that the next generation will at least have one caring and loved for person. Maggie should be proud.
SchleiF
Gramma–
Done…hope you enjoy them.
SchleiF–
Thanks. You, as always, are way too kind. The whole intellectual starvation thing was just the one thing that came to mind at that moment. Plus, if I got on the blog and wrote about how much I miss going out to drink beer, someone would have something to say regarding whether I’m fit to be a parent. The whole missing out on reading thing goes over better as a sale.
BTW, I wanted to say that you sound as though you’re growing just a tad cynical. Is it age? being career minded? exposure to the European way of thinking? Whatever it is, I’m not sure I like it…I would have to sit down face to face to tell for sure but I think I miss the old happy Brian. I don’t have any room to talk, though…if there’s one hallmark of my personality, it is certainly cynicism.